my love,
i love u. it's as simple as that. i don't expect you to feel the same way as i do but it will be extremely wonderful if the feeling is mutual.
i see you everyday in class. 6 days a week. and it hurts me to see you. the way you look at me. the way you are right now. all of that hurts. i don't know why but it just did. maybe because i'm not there to share it with you. or maybe because you seem perfectly okay without me.
i tried so hard to move on. but i only managed to do it superficially. every smile, every laugh was a lie. fake. a joke on my own expense. i wasn't really doing all that. i was crying deep inside becuase you weren't there. how long will i continue to weep? i have no idea.
being in love was stupid. i would not recommend it to anyone. it just brings out the fool in you. i love you yet i hurt you. how stupid was that? i've brought so much misery into your life that i think you've got a lifetime worth of pain already.
so i'm leaving. i'm leaving you to a better life without me. maybe one day we can be friends again. but not now. i love you too much to even be friends. i'm letting go because i know you deserve a lot better
when the pain had passed away,
when the wound had healed,
when the hurt had gone,
when all was left was the scar,
i'll smile again, for real.
9/2/2009
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