it wasn't what you said that got me mad,
it was the way you said it
it wasn't that i don't care about what you want,
it was the way you said it
it wasn't that i don't care how you felt,
it was the way you express it
it wasn't that i'm not sorry for what i did,
it was the way you let your anger go that made mine sparks off again and not dying down.
so even though i'm really sorry and regret what i had done,
i refuse to apologize or even acknowledge it since i'm pissed off
Time seemed to stop as he watch his wife stumbled to the ground. Her body was drifting slowly before landing onto the hard tarmac. He didn’t – couldn’t – hear anything else, the shriek, the gunshots, the commands; miraculously, amidst all the noise and commotion, he’s in a silent world, a world where only he and his wife exist.
But as his feet started to move towards her, his body was slammed to the side by another human being. He didn’t care who it was. He only cared that this person had just stopped him from going to his wife. He was angry. He was furious. He tried to push him away. He wriggled back and fro to release himself from underneath him but he failed. This man is too powerful – or maybe he was too weak – for him to gain even an inch. He could only watch in agony as his wife’s body lay on the tarmac, in the middle of a gunfight.
He knew that she’s dead. Even before the bullet pierce her head, he knew that she’ll die. That’s why he said those words. The words that were supposed to be said earlier. The words that were supposed to be said at another time but he ran out of time. It was his fault, for putting things off. For creating this situation.
“ I love you”. With desperation he said.
“I love you too”, she replied. The look on her face was one of pure joy. But somehow he couldn’t feel it. Couldn’t take in the meaning of those words. Their goodbye shouldn’t be like this, his heart screamed.
Exactly at those moments, he heard the shot. He saw the trigger being pulled. He felt the pain as if the bullet were being put inside his head, scattering his brain.
And now, it’s over. The guy who shot his wife was lying dead next to her in a middle of a blood poll. All his accomplice were either dead or surrendered to the police. And he’s finally able to walk over to his wife’s body. Her hand were still bound behind her, her clothes was soaked with blood – he couldn’t tell whether it was hers or the guy’s blood – but she looked happy. Content. As if death is a prize that she’d won, something that she’d been waiting for. Or could it be because of his final words to her?? He couldn’t tell.
He picked her up, and finally the tears were coming down.
since no one's gonna read this post anyhow...i'll just rant on and on
it's bad enough that i've been feeling down and restless this past few days on my own...i don't need others to add this feeling of uneasiness...damn you
i felt that what i'm doing now had lost all meaning...the only thing keeping me here is my promise to my dad that i'd graduate...no matter what...he won't have me following in his footsteps...not completing his study and came home halfway...i had already promised i wouldn't...so here i am...stuck till graduation....
how i wish i could fast forward everything...but i can't...so i just have to deal with all this uncertainness by myself...with my own way...God help me
have u ever feel like running away
instead u became closer
have u ever feel like erasing everything
yet it became more n more etched in ur heart n mind
have u ever want to get along
but u kept fighting n quarreling
have u ever try to break free
just to become more tied than ever
have u ever want to love
only to end up hurt
ironic isn't it?
how life gave the opposite of what u want
if what u want wasn't granted, maybe it's for the best, maybe there's better thing in the future
just have faith
and move on
